Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Fred Thompson: The next President of the United States of America


Maybe. Only Rudy Giuliani has a shot at stopping him. There is no special interest-pandering, flip-flopping Democrat with the juice to do it. Americans may indeed want an "adult with a firm hand on the tiller."


 
The Fred! has landed


QandO has some questions
Michael PFvdG: . . . Thompson is most certainly electable.
Don Surber compares him to the following:
Ben Roethlisberger, backup to Tommy Maddux. Super Bowl record: 1-0.
Tom Brady, backup to Drew Bledsoe. Super Bowl record: 3-0.
Brad Johnson, backup to Warren Moon, Randall Cunningham, Chris Simms, Brian Griese, Daunte Culpepper, Tony Romo. Super Bowl record: 1-0. Combined Super Bowl records of Moon, Cunningham, Simms, Griese, Culpepper and Romo: 0-0.
Trent Dilfer, backup to Casey Weldon, Shaun King, Tony Banks, Matt Hasselbeck, Charlie Frye, Alex Smith. Super Bowl record 1-0. Combined Super Bowl records of Weldon, King, Banks, Hasselbeck, Frye and Smith: 0-1
Kurt Warner. backup to Trent Green, Marc Bulger, Eli Manning, Josh McCown, Matt Leinert. Super Bowl record: 1-1. Combined Super Bowl records of Green, Bulger, Manning, McCown and Leinert: 0-0
Brett Favre, backup to Chris Miller, Billy Joe Tolliver, Dan Majkowski. Super Bowl record: 1-1. Combined Super Bowl records of Miller, Tolliver and Majkowski: 0-0.
Steve Young, backup to Joe Montana. Super Bowl record 1-0.
Joe Montana, backup to Steve DeBerg. Super Bowl record 4-0.
Terry Bradshaw, backup to Terry Hanratty. Super Bowl record 4-0.
Earl Morral, backup to Y. A. Tittle, Bobby Layne, Tobin Rote, Tom Kennedy, Gary Wood, Johnny Unitas, Bob Griese. Super Bowl record: 1/2-1/2 (replaced by Unitas during Super Bowl III defeat by Kansas City, replaced Unitas during Super Bowl V victory over Dallas)
Bart Starr, backup to Tobin Rote, Babe Parilli and Lamar McHan. Super Bowl record 3-0 (plus 2 NFL Championships prior to Super Bowls, so 5-0 would not be unrealistic)
Don shows us that these "backup quarterbacks", who at one time or at many times during their careers "looks good holding that clipboard in that nice crisp uniform on the sidelines. He ain’t never thrown an interception or fumbled the ball." hold a combined (roughly) 20-1 edge over the starters they eventualy replaced, except for Unitas and Montana who won a bunch before being replaced. I like 20-1 odds.

Fred!'s got Babalu Blog's vote.
Dean Barnett favors Mitt Romney but still thinks this is great news.
AllahPundit asks, "Will Fred! flop!?"
The Captain is looking forward to Thompson's campaign.
Mary Katherine Ham says, "He's got the charisma of Rudy with better social-con creds than most of the pack."
Scared Monkeys thinks that Hillary and Obama will ". . . look shrill and lightweight compared to him."



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Oaxaca, Mexico: APPO lawyers denounce death threats and theft of defense funds

APPO defense lawyers are demanding that the federal government take action to protect them from harm which they claim has been threatened. In a press conference, Ernesto Méndez, General Coordinator of the Comité de Familiares y Amigos de los Desaparecidos, Asesinados y Presos Políticos de Oaxaca (Committee of Families and Friends of the Disappeared, Murdered and Imprisoned Political Prisoners of Oaxaca -- COFADAPPO) claims that nine APPO defense lawyers have received death threats and that APPO's attorneys are being followed around by state policemen in unmarked cars.

The COFADAPPO coordinator hauled out the usual laundry list of people to blame for the death threats:
We blame the "tyrant" Governor Ulises Ruiz Ortiz, State Attorney General Evencio Martínez Ramírez, State Secretary of Civil Defense Sergio Segreste, President Felipe Calderon, the federal Secretary of the Interior (whose name Mendez apparently couldn't remember), federal Attorney General Eduardo Medina Mora, George Bush, Mark in Mexico and global warming brought on by bovine flatulence (cow farts).

...

We demand that the the Senate Commission On Human Rights, headed by Rosario Ibarra de Piedra, as well as Amnesty International and all the rest of the organizations (presumably human rights watchdog orgs) demand that the federal government take precautionary measures to protect our lives.
COFADAPPO is an organization founded by the painter Francisco Toledo, most fondly remembered for his successful battle to prevent a McDonald's from being established on the Zócalo. Toledo lead the fight against Mickie D's so that the restaurants on the Zócalo would be protected from fair competition and could continue serving meat, poultry, fish, fruits and vegetables of uncertain origin, uncertain hygiene and uncertain preparation methods at prices higher than in, say, Indianapolis. As you sit on the throne in your hotel room with the cold chills and the squirts, remember this, folks; it ain't the water -- it's the food.

 
Francisco Toledo
Motto: "Montezuma's got nuthin' to do with it"



 
Toledo's art. Nice, eh? And, no, he's not a house painter.


When you visit the Zócalo, especially on a Sunday, note that the restaurants around the outside perimeter are filled with happy patrons (the rich) while the inside perimeter is lined with people (the poor) who cannot afford to eat on the outside perimeter. Those on the inside perimeter have their loyal friend Francisco Toledo to thank for this. You might then visit either of the two McDonald's at Plaza del Valle and note that they are both filled with happy patrons who cannot afford to eat on the Zócalo's outside perimeter. The local owners of both these franchises also thankfully thank painter Toledo. But I digress.

Then lawyer Mendez made this surprising announcement. He denounced some of the recently freed APPO "activists" for stealing money destined for the remaining prisoners. He charged that the APPO thugs who had been freed on bail which had been collected on their behalf had then organized unauthorized collection efforts to raise money for those still in jail and then pocketed said funds.
Without our knowledge and approval, they have carried out indiscriminate fund drives in diverse institutions and union and student organizations. That is to say, they have enriched themselves through the pain and suffering of our imprisoned comrades.
Say it ain't so!

Mendez is charging that the street thugs, gang toughs and petty criminals paid 200 pesos per day, first by APPO and then by the EPR, to man barricades, burn stacks of stolen tires, torch buses and cars, smash windows, spray paint 400+ year old buildings, firebomb state and federal office buildings as well as private buildings and homes, kidnap unarmed traffic cops, rape foreign visitors, rob stores, businesses and pharmacies at gunpoint, destroy the 911 emergency system central command and control center, smash open and/or haul away ATM machines, do 900 million pesos in damage to the Guelaguetza stadium and destroy the state's economy would then stoop so low as to steal a few thousand pesos???? I'm shocked . . . shocked to discover this.

Aren't you?

You might also note that the laundry list of those whom APPO and/or COFADAPPO hold responsible for, well, whatever, now comes on a preprinted form that looks like so:
WE BLAME:
Governor Ulises Ruiz Ortiz
State Attorney General (fill in name of current office holder)
Commander of the Policia Ministerial (fill in name of current office holder)
State Secretary of the Interior (fill in name of current office holder)
Federal Attorney General (fill in name of current office holder)
Federal Secretary of the Interior (fill in name of current office holder)
President of the Republic (fill in name of current office holder)
George Bush (or fill in name of current office holder if Republican)
Mark in Mexico
Global warming brought on by bovine flatulence (cow farts)




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Monday, May 28, 2007

Puebla, Mexico: A miracle worked by the Niño Cieguito


The Puebla football soccer team has for many years been a model of ineptitude. In case you don't know how it works here, there are two divisions of football soccer, the 1st Division and the 2nd Division. The 1st Division is considered the "big league" and the 2nd Division is the "minor league". This arrangement also exists in most of the rest of the football soccer crazy world.

Unlike, say, professional baseball in the USA, where a minor league team is and always will be a minor league team, a 2nd Division football soccer team in Mexico or Brasil or Germany can earn its way into the 1st Division, always at the expense of a poorly performing 1st Division team, of course. That is the goal of hundreds of 2nd division clubs and their fans all around the world -- get to the 1st division and then stay there.

It was so bad in Puebla for so many years that, at one point, a new owner, upon taking control of the team, traded the entire team, along with a boatload of cash, for another owner's team that was already in the 1st Division. That would be somewhat akin to the owner of the Toledo Mud Hens trading his team, along with a boatload of cash, to the owner of the Kansas City A's, which could lead to headlines like, "Mud Hens Bury Orioles" or "Tigers Devour Mud Hens" or, whatever.

The seller's outraged fans conducted the usual rioting, blockading and boycotting, but to no avail as the seller was already yukking it up on the Riviera. Whether Mayan or French remains unclear. Alas, the Puebla jinx struck the new 1st Division team and it, too, was soon relegated to the ignonimous Second Division.

The fans and players in Puebla needed to take stronger action. They needed a miracle. They went to the "Niño Cieguito" to get it. The "Niño Cieguito" (blind infant Jesus) resides in the Temple of the Convent of San Joaquín y Santa Ana in downtown Puebla. Fans dressed the icon in a Puebla team uniform and then prayed, a lot.

 
Puebla's "Niño Cieguito" dressed in team uniform


Sure enough, a miracle was bestowed upon the city and its faithful (to whatever team was in town) fans. The Puebla football soccer team won its final game of the season and had a good enough record to be promoted to the 1st Division in the Mexican Football Soccer league.

A little history might be in order. In 1944 in Morelia, a thief hid himself inside the Convento de La Merced. After the doors were closed and locked, he set about sacking the sanctuary. A statue of the boy Jesus began to weep and cry out. The thief tried to cover the statue'ss mouth to quiet it but to no avail. He then took out his knife and pried the eyes out of the statue but it still would not be quiet. In a panic, he grabbed up the statue and, along with the rest of his haul, fled into the countryside.

The next day, upon discovering the thefts, church officials called in the police who were soon able to capture the thief. He confessed all and related the story as well as the whereabouts of the discarded statue, which he had also broken into pieces. The statue was repaired as well as possible and was moved to Puebla, although still without its eyes as it yet appears today. The Santo Niño Cieguito has been credited by its followers with many miracles over the years.


I might note that there is a church in Puebla devoted solely to the granting of miracles. It is called the Iglesia del Nuestro Señor de los Milagros (Church of Our Lord of Miracles) and I have visited it many times, usually on Wednesdays and Sundays after buying my Melate tickets. To no avail, I might also add.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Oaxaca, Mexico: Of moustaches and men and Charlie B., wherever you are.


With all of the hoopla over Rosie O'Donnell leaving The View and her chief writer being escorted off the premises for defacing a picture of Elizabeth Hasselbeck, I began to wonder what would happen if other famous photos were defaced in a like manner.

O'Donnell's chief writer, Janette Barber, was tossed out of the ABC studios when she was caught drawing a moustache on a photo of Hasselbeck. O'Donnell and Hassellbeck had gone round and round on The View when O'Donnell accused America and our soldiers in Iraq of being the "real" terrorists. Hasselebeck challenged O'Donnell when the fat one accused American troops of murdering more than 600,000 Iraqis since our occupation began. Rosie didn't like that so she stormed out of the building leaving her toady behind to draw sophomoric pitchers.

I further began to wonder about defacing photos of famous people in exactly the opposite manner. That is, removing hair instead of penciling it in.


The mind boggles at the possibilities.

 
John Bolton

 

John Bolton after a shave and a haircut

How about this one?

 
William Jefferson "Bill" Clinton, 42nd President of the United States

 
William Jefferson "Bill" Clinton after a shave and a haircut

Or this one?

 
Albert Gore, ex-VP and proponent of discredited Man-Made Global Warming Hoax

 

Al Gore after a shave and a haircut


And, finally, last but not least:

 
Rosie O'Donnell, formerly of The View
Notorious loudmouth bully
Believes 9/11 was Bush conspiracy
Believes US soldiers are terrorists
Claims we murdered 600,000+ Iraqis

 
Rosie O'Donnell after a shave and a haircut


The next-to-last photo -- the one that is un-retouched by Mark in Mexico's talented photo lab tecnicians -- has an interesting history. I have traced it back through the following sources:

I stole it from The Jawa Report, who stole it from

Ace of Spades HQ, who stole it from

Crotchety Old Bastard, who stole it from

Venomous Kate (I like her . . . hisss), who stole it from

Parkway Rest Stop, who stole it from

velociworld, who stole it from

Grouchy Old Cripple in Atlanta, who credits

Charlie B.

Charlie B., where are you?

UPDATE: I had to retrieve and reinsert 6 of the 8 photos. I dunno why. Maybe I pissed someone off.


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Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Puebla, Mexico: Is Volkswagen Mexico ripping off its employees?



Did Pancho Villa speak any Spanish?

About 100 VW employees gathered at the SAT (the tax folks) office in Puebla at 8:00 this morning to deliver a formal complaint about not receiving their profit sharing checks from VW this year. Here in Mexico it is, by federal law, a requirement that a company distribute profit sharing checks to its employees in the month of May for profits from the preceding year.

This profit sharing requirement, along with the various and onerous tax schemes promoted by the government, the crumbling or never-existed-in-the-first-place infrastructure, third rate educational system, law of the mordida and all the way down to business executives and/or family members being picked off the streets in kidnapping operations, contribute to the sad fact that hardly any Mexican businesses make a profit even when they do make a profit, if you catch my drift.

The workers group was met at the door by . . . nobody. There was no one there to receive their complaint. Possibly because they had arrived at 8:00 AM. In Mexico you will be hard pressed to find any public servant at any staff level at his/her desk at 8:00 in the morning. So they spread out into the street which is a major thoroughfare that links Puebla to Cholula (where the airport is) and blocked it. After about an hour someone inside the SAT offices reluctantly agreed to receive their useless and soon-to-be-archived-in-File #13 complaint.

Volkswagen AG announced breathlessly to its shareholders that its 2006 profit more than doubled over 2005's numbers, to $3.61 billion. 2005's paltry profit was only $1.47 billion. VW's shares rose more than 9% on the news. And this profit was weighed down by some 2 billion euros in restructuring costs and severance pay to some 20,000 fired workers throughout the company's various operations.

However, back in August, 2006, VW de Mexico had announced a 1 billion peso loss for the first half of 2006 at the Mexico plant in Puebla. That plant employs somewhere between 16,000 and 20,000 employees.

You would think that with massive losses like this the Puebla plant would soon be scheduled for closure. In fact, however, VW is in the middle of a $2 billion investment program at the Puebla facility so that it can continue to bleed money, I guess.

We all know that ain't so. Why is VW sinking so much cash into a money losing facility? Because it is not losing money. In fact, VW brags that it is making money. This from VW's own VW Goup Supply.com:
VW de México plays a pivotal role for the Volkswagen Group. Highly qualified employees produce top-notch quality products for global markets and implement our objectives successfully: Cost-cutting, productivity enhancement and maximized profit. (emphasis mine)
Here is one way they do it. This is especially favored by the multi-nationals. ACME International's (or fill in any company's name) Official Spokesperson for the Board of Directors:
"Yasss, we lost a billion dollars at our Mexico facility last year. We also lost a billion dollars each at our facilities in France, Germany, Russia, China and Afghanistan. I am pleased to announce, however, that the company earned a record 50 billion dollars in overall profit in spite of losses at each and every one of our facilities.

The company accomplished this by earning 60 billion dollars at our Caribbean operations center, located in a broom closet in an otherwise abandoned warehouse on a rotting quay in Georgetown, Cayman Islands. Our Cayman Islands broom closet contains our Design Center, our Finance Center, our Engineering Center, our Human Resources Center and our Operations Command and Control Center. Our private landing strip and executive jet fleet hangars are also located close by.

The Cayman broom closet bills each of our manufacturing centers 10 million dollars per day for services rendered to the manufacturing facilities and they are all happy to pay.

We look forward to implementing the Cayman broom closet's directives in 2007 and 2008 to reduce our inefficient and bloated workforce at our manufacturing centers by 20,000 jobs each of the next two years as well as wage and benefit cuts of 15%, also each year.
This is also called "skimming".






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Monday, May 21, 2007

Oaxaca, Mexico: nationwide wave of violence has arrived here


UPDATED: Scroll down.

At least it looks like it has arrived. Now, if you live in Huatulco or Puerto Escondido you've seen, heard or read about several knock-down drag-out shootouts in those resort towns, so you're bound to be less than impressed with this breathless report. However, for the rest of us living peacefully and meandering around the almost daily roadblocks thrown up by one protesting group or another, the outright spillage of lifesblood in the streets has been rather rare. No more.

Saturday, in Huatulco, an AFI agent was gunned down in a hail of bullets from fully automatic AR 15's and AK 47's as he arrived at his office (I thought those weapons were illegal here -- oh yeah, only the assassins carry such weapons -- the agent was armed with his trusty .38 revolver). The AFI is sort of like our FBI . . . sort of.

Today, in Acatlan, the state's sugar cane field and refinery union leader was gunned down, again with AK 47's and AR 15's (I thought those weapons were illegal here -- oh yeah, only the assassins carry such weapons -- Timoteo Gutiérrez Castro was armed with his trusty pocket knife).

Also today, just a mile or so outside of town, the PRD's leader in Ejutla de Crespo, Félix Cruz Barrita, was shot to death as he approached Oaxaca City in his car. No word yet on the weapons of choice by the murderers but it would be a safe bet that they were far more heavily armed than he. UPDATE: Police now say that, based upon testimony from family members, this murder was probably a "crime of passion".

One could surmise that the death of the AFI agent was ordered and carried out by organized crime figures (read narcotics) while the death of the PRD's Félix Cruz Barrita was ordered and carried out by organized crime figures (read the PRI) and the death of Cañero union leader Timoteo Gutiérrez Castro was likewise ordered and carried out by organized crime figures (read sugar magnates).

So it's here, the gun violence, that is. The state's government and the federal government as well are wholly incapable of protecting the citizens from death by lead projectile. Since guns are just about completely illegal here, the citizens have no way to protect themselves either.

I thought it quite funny when Freddy Alcantera, the head of the hotel and restaurant association here, was complaining bitterly about the US State Department's renewal of its advisory to avoid Oaxaca like the plague. The updated advisory was issued, unfortunately, the same day as the massacre at Virginia Tech. Freddy mumbled something about Oaxaca being more secure than American universities.

The thing Freddy doesn't understand is that the killings at VT were an anomaly. Such a thing is unlikely to be repeated in our lifetimes or even the lifetimes of our children. Meanwhile, gangland style executions and assassinations are occurring in Mexico at the rate of about 20 per day.

El Universal had calculated, as of about two weeks ago, that gangland style assassinations, executions and shootouts had claimed about 1000 lives so far this year -- and that didn't include Mexico City or Mexico State figures. Those are the two largest entities, respectively, in the country. Exactly why Universal's figures did not include the DF nor Mexico State figures is unclear. It may be that the PRD governments are better at hiding these incidents than are the PAN or the PRI. I dunno.

In any event, the citizens are beginning to pay the price for the decades long abolition of firearms in Mexico which helped to guarantee the PRI's PRI-eminence. And these are the same citizens who faithfully voted the PRI into power decade after decade.



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Oaxaca, Mexico: Where a boycott ain't a boycott


I noticed this lost-in-translation problem a few years ago but paid it little mind. It has now become, or will become, a much more important issue.

Sección 22 (the teachers who go on strike every year and have for the past 26 years or so) as well as APPO, have announced that they will "boycott" this year's Guelaguetza festival. From Cambridge Dictionary of American English:
boycott

verb [T]
to refuse to buy (a product) or take part in (an activity) as a way of expressing strong disapproval
The union called on its members to boycott the meeting.

boycott

noun [C]
She organized an economic boycott of the company's products.
The actual word used in the Spanish language versions, both in Oaxaca as well as other national news media sources, is "boicotear". From WordReference.com:
boicotear
verbo transitivo
to boycott
Well folks, that is not correct. A "boycott" in Mexico, as well as other Central and South American countries, is to blockade. That is, the boycotters not only refuse to buy or participate in an activity, but they also stop you -- by force -- from doing so.

That's a "boycott" in Mexico.

In fact, APPO and Sección 22 stated that they would "boycott" this year's Guelaguetza festival "like we did last year". Uh-oh. Last year's "boycott" included the burning of the amphitheater's dance floor, twice, the painting of slogans all over the walls and seats, the theft of light fixtures, electrical and sound cables and all the plumbing fixtures from the restrooms and, ultimately, the cancelation of the state's bggest money maker, the Guelaguetza festival. All that to the tune of some 900 million pesos in losses to the state's inhabitants.

The bright side to this impending disaster is that the state won't lose that much money this year. Oaxaca no longer has 900 million pesos to lose.



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Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Tokyo, Japan: 2000 of dumbest people in world found in Japan


2000 Japanese consumers have been discovered -- so far -- who purchased poodles over the internet but received sheep instead. The swindle was uncovered when a couple took their "poodle" to a dog grooming shop to have its toenails clipped and were informed that it had hooves. Other victims were just beginning to question why their "poodles" refused to eat dogfood.

But not one -- NOT ONE -- fraud victim called authorities and said, "Banzai! I ordered a poodle but received a flocking sheep instead!"

French Poodle


 
Japanese Poodle


Japanese authorities are reportedly also investigating the following incidents as possible internet fraud cases.

1. Tokyo 500 organizers sue NASCAR because neither Jeff Gordon nor Junior showed for the highly touted race. The race was won by Billy Ray Bob "Bubba" Hatfield. All contractual arrangements were made over the internet with a shadowy company owned by Betty Lou Thelma Liz McCoy. When contacted by this ace reporter, Betty Lou Thelma Liz responded, "I didn't say, 'Nextel', I said, 'Next year.'"

 
Tokyo/NASCAR/Next Year 500


2. Tokyo officials are investigating the sale of 2000 "men's bikinis", supposedly part of Oscar de la Renta's introduction of his "Hazard County Fashion" linenup. Japanese buyers brought this fraud to the attention of officials when they began to complain of "barnyard odors" emanating from the clothing.

 
Oscar de la Renta's "Hazard County Fashion " men's bikini
(available exclusively in Tokyo)


3. Two men are pictured shortly after their arrest for impersonating Paul Newman and Robert Redford during a promotional tour of Tokyo. Japanese film industry organizers had made arrangements with Lary Flint Productions over the internet for the tour by Newman and Redford to promote their upcoming tribute to Akira Kurosawa titled, "Harvey and Lyle". Authorities began an investigation when film industry executives complained that Harvey/Newman seemed only capable of saying, "Mo' grits in mah grits," while Lyle/Redford appeared to be completely mute.

 
Paul "Harvey" Newman and Robert "Lyle" Redford in Tokyo


4. Japanese government and Tokyo City authorities are investigating the sale of the legendary Triple Crown winner Secretariat to a Japanese billionaire. The reclusive magnate, as yet not identified, called in law enforcement after watching a Discovery Channel tribute to "Big Red" and discovering that the famous thoroughbred died in 1989. The irate buyer, who paid 450 million dollars (about 6000 trillion yen) for the "horse" and just received the animal last month, at first thought the animal had merely been damaged in transit. He is said to now believe he received Mr. Ed, in-stead.

 
Secretariat . . . or Mr. Ed?




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Belgium: US news media asleep at the wheel -- not so Mark in Mexico


Where are Google, My Yahoo, Memeorandum, Lucianne et al when a big story breaks about political strategizing outside the box? Asleep at the wheel, so to speak. Not so Mark in Mexico.

From Belgium comes this hard hitting report of a Belgian Senate candidate who was being buried by the exhorbitant promises made by her opponents. So she has retaliated.

Tania Derveaux is offering 40,000 jobs, er, bl**jobs, that is, on a, ahem, first come first served basis. In the interest of consumer protection, here are a couple of photos of Senate candidate Derveaux.





Now, to be perfectly fair, Reforma is all over this story. And to be more than fair, the only links to this story that I could find when writing this post were in German, French and the aforementioned Spanish language Reforma.

Reforma reports that Ms. Derveaux has placed this announcement on her website, link thoughtfully not provided (I don't want to arrive and find myself in place number 40,001). What you must do is, first, vote for Ms. Derveaux. Then, after casting said vote, you may apply for your, er, reward at her website. If selected, you then get in line, I guess.

Reforma reports that there are some rules that must be followed in order to collect on Ms. Derveaux's campaign promise, which, she assures us, is not merely a lick-and-a-promise.
1. You must be of legal age of consent. I'm of an age where I'll consent to just about anything -- of this nature, that is.
Consenting adult. To what, he does not care.



2. You must use protection. I'll come equipped with my trusty .45 Buntline Special, impressive in the length and diameter of its barrel, as well as its heft, as well as its muzzle velocity, as well as . . . you get the idea.

.45 Buntline Special, carried for protection.





This might be more like it, truth be told.



3. You must use adequate hygiene. I'll pass through a Turbo Car Wash prior to my, uh, appointment with the aspiring, young politician and the local Jet Wash afterwards.

Adequate hygiene -- before and after
Soft Touch? That's a nice touch.



4. You may not exceed the time limit of five minutes. Five minutes? Uh-oh.

Tick . . . tick . . . tick . . .



5. You must agree not to attempt any other type of physical contact.

No other physical contact possible . . . that's what Lecter said, anyway.
That does bring up some interesting arithmetic, however. Five minutes times 40,000 is, approx, 200,000 minutes or, approx, 3,333 1/3 hours or, approx, 416 2/3 eight-hour days. Man days, so to speak. That's more than a year. A lot more than a year. In fact, it is well more than a year and a half if she takes weekends off. If, or rather when she gets elected, I don't see how she's going to have much time for legislating. In Europe, they don't perform any jobs -- any type of jobs -- on weekends. That's going to be a long line.









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Friday, May 11, 2007

Tulum, Quintana Roo, Mexico: Have you seen this girl?


Name: Dana Firemann (she's being identified in Mexican news reports as Dana Firemann Rishpy)
Nationality: Israeli
Last Seen: March 31, 2007 in Tulum

This description also available:
Dana Rishpy, 25 years old, from Haifa, Israel, has been missing since March 30, 2007. She was seen last in Tulum, South East Mexico. She is about 5'7", long brown straight hair, green eyes, speaks english and hebrew. If you have seen her, or know of people traveling in the area, please urgently contact tel. 52-1-5554840490 (Mexico) or Dalit at (972)-54-6353802 (Israel). More info in: findana DOT com
There seems to be some confusion as to her name. She identifies herself as Dana Firemann.

Here is a video taken of her about 6 months before she disappeared:



More info and photos here: www.findana.com, again identified as Dana Rishpy.






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