Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Tokyo, Japan: 2000 of dumbest people in world found in Japan

2000 Japanese consumers have been discovered -- so far -- who purchased poodles over the internet but received sheep instead. The swindle was uncovered when a couple took their "poodle" to a dog grooming shop to have its toenails clipped and were informed that it had hooves. Other victims were just beginning to question why their "poodles" refused to eat dogfood.

But not one -- NOT ONE -- fraud victim called authorities and said, "Banzai! I ordered a poodle but received a flocking sheep instead!"

French Poodle

Japanese Poodle

Japanese authorities are reportedly also investigating the following incidents as possible internet fraud cases.

1. Tokyo 500 organizers sue NASCAR because neither Jeff Gordon nor Junior showed for the highly touted race. The race was won by Billy Ray Bob "Bubba" Hatfield. All contractual arrangements were made over the internet with a shadowy company owned by Betty Lou Thelma Liz McCoy. When contacted by this ace reporter, Betty Lou Thelma Liz responded, "I didn't say, 'Nextel', I said, 'Next year.'"

Tokyo/NASCAR/Next Year 500

2. Tokyo officials are investigating the sale of 2000 "men's bikinis", supposedly part of Oscar de la Renta's introduction of his "Hazard County Fashion" linenup. Japanese buyers brought this fraud to the attention of officials when they began to complain of "barnyard odors" emanating from the clothing.

Oscar de la Renta's "Hazard County Fashion " men's bikini
(available exclusively in Tokyo)

3. Two men are pictured shortly after their arrest for impersonating Paul Newman and Robert Redford during a promotional tour of Tokyo. Japanese film industry organizers had made arrangements with Lary Flint Productions over the internet for the tour by Newman and Redford to promote their upcoming tribute to Akira Kurosawa titled, "Harvey and Lyle". Authorities began an investigation when film industry executives complained that Harvey/Newman seemed only capable of saying, "Mo' grits in mah grits," while Lyle/Redford appeared to be completely mute.

Paul "Harvey" Newman and Robert "Lyle" Redford in Tokyo

4. Japanese government and Tokyo City authorities are investigating the sale of the legendary Triple Crown winner Secretariat to a Japanese billionaire. The reclusive magnate, as yet not identified, called in law enforcement after watching a Discovery Channel tribute to "Big Red" and discovering that the famous thoroughbred died in 1989. The irate buyer, who paid 450 million dollars (about 6000 trillion yen) for the "horse" and just received the animal last month, at first thought the animal had merely been damaged in transit. He is said to now believe he received Mr. Ed, in-stead.

Secretariat . . . or Mr. Ed?

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Cross posted at Pale Horse Galleries

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