Saturday, August 07, 2004

Ponce de Leon was right!

The Quixotic search for the mythical Fountain of Youth by Ponce de Leon ended in failure. However, its existence has now been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt by El Duque, Orlando Hernandez of the New York Yankees. Given up for dead just two years ago by the Montreal Expos, El Duque underwent rotator cuff surgery, then went to Florida where he found the Fountain of Youth so desperately sought by de Leon.

El Duque just shut out, that's right, shut out the Toronto Bluejays to hike his record to 4-0, with the Bombers winning all six of his starts. His ERA, which was hovering around 3.00, will surely dip below that into the rarified atmosphere (for a 95-year old starting pitcher) of 2.90+/-.

His age is reportedly either 45 or 55 or 95, depending on which forged immigration document you wish to quote. Two years ago, he couldn't bend over to pick up his morning newspaper without requiring physical therapy to be able to straighten back up by noon. Now, he mows'em down like Randy Johnson, or Walter Johnson, or maybe Charles Johnson (the LGF CJ, not the catcher CJ). Roger who? Never heard of'im. Expect to see Ernie Banks return at any time.

No comments: