I don't think I believe this

By means of a, ahem, convoluted path which leads from OTB through The Tomo Report to here, we are informed of a truly astonishing Star Wars type warplane. (For clarity I not only enclosed my smart-ass comments in parentheses but have also colored them blue, like my face after choking with laughter.)

Now, according to this MSN Groups page (AMERICASSURVIVAL), written by a Richard Boylan, Ph.D. and titled "Defense Contractor Leaks Details of a U.S. antigravitic space fighter-bomber, the Advanced TAW-50", the US Air Force possesses an aircraft that is capable of the (I kid you not) following:

The TAW-50 has speed capabilities well in excess of Mach 50, a number the contractor calls "a very conservative estimate." Its actual speed "is classified" (yeah, classified Star Date 3091). Mach 1 is 1,225 kilometers per hour, (approximately 748 mph). That means that the TAW-50 is capable of moving way faster than 38,000 mph. In comparison, the velocity required to escape Earth's gravity is 25,000 mph. And yes, the TAW-50 does go into space (someone's in space).

The TAW-50 has a SCRAM (supersonic ramjet) propulsion system for passing through the outer atmosphere.

The TAW-50 has a crew of four. Nevertheless, the TAW-50 flies so fast that it requires computers to fly it. These were developed by American Computer Company, who derived them from its Valkyrie XB/9000 AI [artificial intelligence] Guidance series. They utilize a RISC Milspec Superchip. "There are 180 of them in the flight control system, and 64 more in the weapons guidance system," the contractor reported.

It can carry a combined payload of glide bombs and a package of MIRV (Multiple Independently-targeted Reentry Vehicles), mil-speak for a group of intercontinental ballistic missiles, each of which can seek out and strike a different target. The MIRV pack also contains reentry-capable balloon countermeasures to make it very difficult for laser and other defense weapons to track down where the real MIRVs are and intercept them.

The TAW-50 is armed with its own Kill Laser system (to kill lasers or lasers that kill ? - unclear on this), which can track and immolate SAM (Surface-to-Air missiles), STTA (Surface-To-Trans-Atmosphere missiles), ATA (Air-To-Air missiles), and ATTA (Air-To-Trans-Air missiles). The TAW-50's killer lasers can also knock down high-performance fighter interceptors. The TAW's Kill Laser is much smaller than the earlier 1980s-era SDI (Star Wars program) models (used with such great success, uh, where I don't remember), and has a miniaturized cooling core and 500 times the wattage. The contractor said it "uses a spontaneous nucleonic burst to trigger the lasing [laser] effect" (I had a spontaneous nucleonic burst, once - but that's OK, we were married at the time).

In addition, the TAW-50 is armed with micro-super-explosive HyperDart missiles (yeah, that's what I used for my spontaneous nucleonic burst - see above). These are just a little larger than ordinary aircraft cannon ammunition, but travel at hypersonic speed for up to three minutes, and have enormous explosive capability. One HyperDart can blow apart a MiG fighter anywhere within 20 feet of the HyperDart. The TAW-50 carries several hundred HyperDarts.

Because the TAW-50 is designed to operate in space, it has on board a two-day air supply. This air supply can be extended by using its scoop system and traveling into the upper atmosphere (said scoop system can also be used to shovel out the bulls****).

The TAW-50's power supply is provided by a small nuclear power generator that the contractor said is "Normal-Inert". The contractor said that the spaceplane uses electromagnetoferrometric power generation by the immersion of pellets in heavy water (deuterium) (rabbit pellets, shotgun pellets - what kind of pellets?) and specially-designed coil superconductive magnets, which yield enormous amounts of free electrons when placed in an immersion which has been triggered into an oscillating field state flux (uh-huh, I was in an oscillating field state flux, but the stuff I consumed that put me there is not mentioned in this article).

The TAW-50 utilizes electrogravitics to maintain its own artificial gravity while in weightless space, as well as to nullify the vehicle's mass during operations.

The contractor did not reveal the size of the space fighter-bomber except to say, "It's a pretty big thing" (so is my Hyper Dart - see above).

The performance of the TAW-50 makes it virtually impossible to defend against (no shit - you can't see what ain't there). It can hide in orbit many hundreds of miles into space, orbiting at times at 22,000 mph. Then, without warning, it can dive straight down through the atmosphere at over 38,000 miles per hour on an 80-degree attack vector, reverse direction within 150 feet of the ground with very little loss of motion and without a glide turn, and almost instantly go vertically straight up at over 38,000 mph until long after it leaves the atmosphere and resumes orbiting in space.

The contractor noted, "Those [electro-] gravitics allow it to change its mass to almost nothing in a moment, and reverse direction in a second, increase its acceleration to so many times G [Earth's gravity] it's not funny, yet they are able to nearly nullify the G-force on the pilots. They [the electrogravitics] are fourth generation (you remember generations I, II and III, used so successfully in, er, I don't remember where), with the ability to bring it to a complete standstill in under 2 milliseconds, if need be, without crushing the pilots, and keep it there for quite some time."

The contractor notes, "It's far too fast for tracking radars. And, he adds, what military aims its radars straight up?"

The TAW-50 can be refueled and rearmed in orbit by docking with the secret undeclared Military Space Station that is in orbit. (See: here) The entire refueling and rearming procedure takes under 10 minutes. Who mans the gas pumps? Military astronauts trained at the Secret Air Force Academy, located in the hills west of the official Air Force Academy at Colorado Springs, CO. (somebody's seen Independence Day one too many times). These military astronauts rotate duty by traveling to and from Vandenburg Air Force Base on other military antigravity vehicles (called helicopters). (See: here) The Space Shuttles have carried the arming platforms ("classified Defense Dept. payloads") up to the secret Military Space Station (whaaat?). The contractor reported that with a few extra tanks of LOX (liquid oxygen), the TAW-50 could fly to the Moon and back (now wait, I thought this thing was powered by rabbit pellets in a bucket of dirty mop water, so what's the LOX for and where are the bagels?).

As of 2002, the U.S. has 20 TAW-50s in its arsenal (this is not believable - they would cost 10 trillion dollars each and even our Republican congress couldn't raise that kind of money, especially with no help from George Soros). But, as the contractor commented, "you could take out an entire nation in under 10 days with only 10 of these, doing three attacks a day. One can wipe out an entire city the size of suburban Cleveland in a single attack without having to use any nukes at all."

The TAW-50 was jointly developed by the Lockheed-Martin Skunk Works (Palmdale-Helendale, CA) and Northrop (undoubtedly at their undeclared "Anthill" facility within the Tehachapi Mountains, northwest of Lancaster, CA.) Both companies have a history of development of secret anti-gravity craft at these Mojave Desert facilities.

The electrogravitics for the TAW-50 was produced by GE Radionics. Pratt & Whitney designed the SCRAM atmospheric penetrator technology. American Computing Company created the artificial intelligence supercomputers.

Now, I am not in any way an aeronautical engineer nor a weapons systems expert, so this horsesh...er, I mean, fantastic developement may very well be true. However, my suspicions were aroused when I read this at the end of the article:

And the technology shows that the Defense Department did not fail to utilize what it learned combing through the wreckage of various UFO crashes.

UPDATE: I was going to delete this entire silly post last night, but instead of doing that and retiring for the evening, I stayed up and did a little research into the yayhoo who wrote this article, one Richard Boylan, Ph.D.. Not much surprise here. According to several articles that I found, Dr. Boylan is a UFO and "abductology" kook who had his California Board of Psychology-issued license to practise psychotherapy yanked. He appealed to the California Superior Court, said appeal being denied by Judge Thomas M. Cecil, who spoke the following:

(Boylan) "continues to assert that this case is about his belief in alien encounters. It is not....Petitioner's conduct was outrageous, especially in the light of the underlying reasons for treating these particular patients. His conduct fell well below the standard of care expected of his profession and constituted gross negligence."

And the gross negligence so cited?

"nude hot tubbing" and massage in treating three female patients and of "imposing views on the existence of extraterrestrials into the dreams and memories" of several female patients [SUN #37/Jan. 1996].