Tuesday, April 11, 2006

British anti-terrorist weapons team a waste of money

Britain has formed an elite team of scientists dedicated to developing weapons to be used against terrorists. I could have saved them a lot of money, and still can if they would only call.

This is the 1847 Walker Colt. It fires a .44 caliber soft lead slug powered by 60 grains of black powder and would blow a hole in a terrorist large enough to drive a Buick through. It has been thoroughly tested in long-running field trials by such well known and respected experts in the field as Col. William S. Cody, James Butler Hickock, Capt. Augustus McCrae, Capt. Woodrow F. Call, United States Territorial Marshal Rooster Cogburn, Josephiah Wales, William Anderson, Sheriff William Daggett, William Munny, Jesse Woodson James, Alexander Franklin James, Geronimo Goyathlay and the Thomas Coleman Younger and Bros. Co., Inc..

The only known failure of the weapon occurred in the Blue Bottle Saloon, Wichita, KA in 1885 when a poorly maintained unit blew up in the hand of Corky "Two Gun" Corcoran in a face-off against "English" Bob Postlethwaite. Due to this incredible piece of luck, Postlethwaite was able to shoot Corcoran in the liver with a Colt Peacemaker. The hole in Corcoran, however, was only large enough for a Volkswagen.

A certified weapon with only one known failure in 121 years of use. Why don't they ever call me first?

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