Hugo Chávez escapes vicious assassination squad

Hugo Chávez announced today that he narrowly escaped assassination by a highly trained hit squad sent, no doubt, by Condoleezza Rice.

The assassins escaped Chavez's bodyguards by outrunning them all the way to Columbia.


Rice's Raiders, later identified as Shadrack, Meshack, Abendago and John Furd.

Chávez was quoted as saying, "Dey hat peeztols deez lonk!" He also stated that he could still smell the presence of frankenscence and myrhh after the bloodthirsty, would-be killers made their getaway, indicating the involvement of Mossad in the failed plot.

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TAGS: Hugo Chávez, assassination plot failed, Damn!