Thursday, November 30, 2006

Mark in Mexico: Email of the day


STRONG LANGUAGE WARNING!!

Mark's Email of the day, if you didn't already deduce that from the post's title (above).

I will offer corrections, translations where necessary and comments, all in bold, italicized form.

From: Olivier Dubois, olidubenator@gmail.com

You are such a pendeho (pendejo (cuckold) - a vile insult in macho Mexico) Mark..(Why 2 periods when one is correct, Oliver?)

How fucking inconscious (unconscious) are you...? (Why 3 periods before the question mark when none should be there, Oliver?)

The APPO are thugs...? (Ixnay on the puntos, Oliver.)

Students, women, some big guys... Did you felt (feel) intimidated... (?)

Couldn't get at (to) the market or something...(?) Also, this interrogatory lacks a clear subject. It might be A-ok to use in speech, sloppy but not an offense worthy of a firing squad. However, in written English, even poorly written English, it is not acceptable. Try "You couldn't . . ."

Such condescendence (condescension) for the people... (I'm really starting to hate all those ". . .", Oliver. However, since this Email has more spots than a 16th century Conquistador afflicted with smallpox, I won't mention it again.)

Let me ask a question ? (This is in the imperative mood, Oliver, not the interrogative. So, no question mark is required nor is it correct to use one. If, indeed, the sentence was intended to be in the interrogative mood, then an interrogative introducer would have to be used along with the attendant personal pronoun; "May I . . .," and my answer would be, "Hell, no.")

How integrated are you to (into) the place you live in...? (Final preposition is improper. "Live" is an intransitive verb, and, in this case, not a phrasal verb. And always remember this, Oliver. A preposition is a word you never end a sentence with.)

Not that much en...? (, eh.)

You feel good hanging with expats and upper class Oaxaquenos (Oaxaqueños with the "ñ") aren't (don't) you...?

You don't mix (in) much with the real Oaxaca don't (do) you...? (Double negatives are a no no, Oliver.)

You like keeping your distance from people who don't think like you...? You
feel good in your little language school, your safe little world... (Dot, dot, dot; What is this, Morse Code, Oliver? Did I say that I was not going to mention that again?)

You see some people being openly shot in the street and you can't find anything better to say than weird...? (He was shot in a bus, Oliver. If he had been shot in the street I would have declared, "Jeepers creepers!)

You (you're) fuckin (fucking) weird... This is called Fascism and it is already in your town.

I have friends who never participated in in (One "in" will do, Oliver. This is called "redundancy".) any APPO activities who are being raped in penitentiary (You have to use the article "a" here or pluralize the noun to "penitentiaries", Oliver.) and being tortured right now... (Pick wiser friends in the future, Oliver.)

Just for being cute and walking at the wrong place at the wrong time... (I must assume you are talking about the moron that pushed the stolen shopping cart brimming with soft drink bottles filled with we-don't-know-what along the PFP line at the dumpster on Macedonio Alcalá. He was not being cute, Oliver, he was being stupid. And, quite the contrary to your assertion, he was in exactly the right place at exactly the right time to help kick off the operation which has resulted in the wreckage formerly known as APPO.)

Shame on yourself (you) for openly revealing where people are hiding... Or trying to...(I was about number 217 on the list of sources to reveal that Fat Man Flavio Sosa was hiding out, along with many of his cohorts, at the church Nuestra Señora de los Pobres, corner of Heróico Colégio Militar and Heróica Escuela Naval Militar (I think), 7 full blocks (or so) north of the baseball stadium and 2 blocks south of the Gigante supermarket -- look for the bell tower -- the bad guys are in the annex on the east side of the building, Oliver.)

It's one thing not to agree with someone and it is another thing to facilitate their executions... Have they ever done anything to you personally...? (They destroyed my most convenient source of Double Whoppers with Cheese.
"I want him DEAD! I want his family DEAD! I want his house burned to the GROUND! I wanna go there in the middle of the night and I wanna PISS ON HIS ASHES!"

Al Capone (Robert DeNiro) in The Untouchables (1987).
Then they cost my children 2 weeks of school, during which time I had to stay at home with the little monsters.
"I'm not only gonna kill him, but I'm gonna kill his wife, all his friends, and burn his damn house down."

William Munny (Clint Eastwood) in Unforgiven (1992).)


When I think I shook your hands back in the days...(Shook my hands, as in both hands? Did we kiss? Did you save the last dance for me? Are you lonely tonight?

Such shame... (Shame shame? Shame on you? A crying shame? A real shame? Or maybe this shame?

Still, Peace...

Oliver


(Peace this, Oliver.)


Mark in Mexico, http://markinmexico.blogspot.com/ Pale Horse Galleries for gifts, Mexican arts and crafts, alebrijes and collectibles, http://palehorsemex.vstore.ca/ Colt Single Action Army .45 Buntline Special
Single Action Army Colt .45 "Buntline Special", a weapon that existed only in legend.


Note: Not spell-checked because my spell checker would have been hung up on all the polka dots for four hours.



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