Thursday, November 10, 2005

Mighty Goliath did indeed existeth

Archeologists digging in a site in southern Israel thought to be the location of the Philistine city of Gath have found a pottery shard bearing the name of the Philistine hero, Goliath. They believe that this lends credence to the ancient story of Goliath's defeat at the hands of the boy shepherd, David. The story was thought by many scholars to be a myth handed down over hundreds of generations. The find means, at the least, that such a person as Goliath really existed. I would think that the inscription proves a lot more than that. Here is what the inscription said:
Mighty Goliath hath been beaned
By the wimpy joo David
Whoeth cracketh the headbone of Goliath
Liketh unto a pterodactyl egg.

Now all Philistines waileth and teareth their hair
Because the jooz will owneth us.
For mighty Goliath hath droppeth
Faster than Bill Clinton's pants . . . eth.
Loosely translated from the original Philistineth and also please note that the Philistines were not heavily into iambic pentameter (that's da-DUM da-DUM da-DUM da-DUM da-DUM . . . with rhymes).

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