Saturday, January 15, 2005

The Official Yankee Oath

In Those Damn Yankees, Thomas Fitzgerald invites all non-native born New York Yankee fans to take The Official Yankee Oath of Allegiance. Now, I've been a Yankee fan since earliest memory (this, I swear, is from memory; Stengle, Howard/Berra, Skowran, Richardson-???, Rizzuto-Kubek-Tresh, Boyer (brother Ken 3B at St. Louis), Berra/Howard, Mantle, Maris, Ford). So there, that should establish my bonafides, except for who replaced Richardson (Dave ???, beaned, ended career, who replaced him?). Now that I think about it, why the turnover in middle infield? It seemed like the Yankees went through 3 shortstops and 3 second basemen in 5 years and every one of them was All-Star caliber, although I am sure that it was over a much longer timeframe.

Mr. Fitzgerald has made available to me, after all these years, the opportunity to become a legal Yankee fan, sort of an illegal alien amnesty. The Official Yankee Oath of Allegiance.

Raise your right hand (no, the other right hand..yeah, that one) and repeat in sonorous tone, the following;

"I do solemnly swear allegiance to all things New York Yankee.

That I promise to ridicule and belittle the accomplishment of any other professional baseball team and state unequivocally my pledge to believe in the inferiority of all other championship ball clubs, their franchise and their meager history.

That winning one out of every four World Series establishes entitlement and if another team wins in our stead, it will be viewed as a fluke.

That I recognize that year in and year out, it is for the good of baseball the New York Yankee organization spend like hell and...

whereas the Yankees shall continue their winning ways and dominate Fall Classics for decades to come, I will insist it isn't because of Steinbrenner's money, it's because other teams don't try hard enough and money has nothing to do with it.

That I take this oath freely and without reservation, for the betterment of America and all things baseball."

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