Oh, wait. You say this was not a WWF steel cage match? It was a laptop computer sale?
YEOW! People screaming and pushing.
THUD! An old man thrown to the pavement.
SPLAT! A child's stroller crushed in the stampede.
PSSSS! A woman pees down her leg.
BAM! A guy smacks line cutters with a folding chair.
WHACK! Someone drives a car into the crowd.
ROWRRR! Someone in a hockey mask starts lopping of limbs with a chainsaw.
Just kidding about that last one.