A bellicose menu

A British health expert says that the menu served at Christmas dinners all across Britain causes the Christmas Day fights. I didn't realize that Britain was notorious for Christmas day family fights, but apparently it is so. Then this expert goes on to suggest some dietary change which, to me, would provoke riots and maybe armed insurrection. She suggests eating unsweetened cranberries. She further recommends:

. . . lean bacon wrapped around prunes, and roasted carrots.

Have you ever tasted unsweetened cranberries? Gaaaaack! Your entire face puckers up like a . . . well . . . you could whistle the theme from The Bridge on the River Kwai for 14 hours before getting your pucker unpuckered. And "bacon wrapped around prunes"? What person in their right mind would wrap bacon around a prune, let alone eat such a thing? If I had to eat unsweetened cranberries and bacon-wrapped prunes for Christmas dinner or at any other time other than just before going into battle, I'd be ready to strangle babies, slash nuns and torch old folk's homes.

TAGS: Britain, Christmas dinner, menu, diet

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