Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Executive summary of the Bible goes on sale

A Church of England vicar has written "The 100 Minute Bible", an executive summary of sorts for Christians on the go. A kind of a fast food carry-out version of the good book, I suppose. I don't know why 100 minutes should be the bellweather here. I can do a lot better than that.

Old Testament: Blow, blow, thou winter wind. Thou art not so unkind, As man's ingratitude.
New Testament: I came, I saw. I conquered.

Ok, I'm ready for Confirmation.

And why stop with the Bible?

United States Constitution: Truth is what stands the test of experience.
United Nations Charter: More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
Kofi Annan's biography: Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
United States history, 1776-2005: An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before. America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide-open spaces surrounded by teeth. In the United States there is more space where nobody is than where anybody is. That is what makes America what it is. America is the greatest, freest and most decent society in existence. It is an oasis of goodness in a desert of cynicism and barbarism. This country, once an experiment unique in the world, is now the last best hope for the world.


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